I'm still standing...just

Another long absence - partly caused by the difficulty I have sitting for any length of time.

Easter - was good. Little E and I went to Skegness with friends for a week in the sun. I had not been quick enough to come up with an reason why we couldn't go and had been dreading a week at Butlins, but it was pleasantly surprising. It wasn't your typical Butlins experience - it was Spring Harvest, a Christian holiday. What was brill was the freedom I could give Little E - she was with four other girls and they were able to go off to their activities (on the other side of the site which is huge) on their own - the security was fantastic. This meant that I didn't have to spend all my time making sure she was ok. All the girls had their scooters and there would have been no point walking with them because we'd have never kept up. I was there with two other mums and their kids (including my Goddaughter). Their husbands had gone skiing, so I didn't feel like the odd one out.

Then LE went to her dad's. This was a low point as he and his wife have been particularly vile recently: for the first time he refused to help LE buy me a Mothering Sunday card - instead he made her buy his wife one. I wasn't aware of this and LE had made me a gorgeous one all on her own anyway. However, on Mothering Sunday his wife sent a text to my phone, thanking LE for the lovely card and saying how lucky she was to have such a thoughtful, loving step-daughter. It was very hard not to send a rude text back - instead I just cried. Added to all this is the very scary fact that they are now best buddies with the Bunny Boiler who has been making my life hell at school. She is now, it appears, determined to make life difficult for me at home too.

It was really hard going back to school today. I feel hopeless and I'm running out of strength to endure much more. Fortunately, the SMT are beginning to see who is causing the problems and I'm getting a bit more support. However, it's hard to see an end to this.

Thank goodness for Little E. She makes life worthwhile.